“There’s a new film out but no-one else wants to watch it!”
“I really love [insert touring band here], but nobody will come see them with me”
I’ve always been relatively independent; I was never the girl in school who rallied a group of pals around just to visit the bathroom. When I moved out and lived in student halls I spent a lot of time alone on account of having less in common with my flatmates than I’ve had with anyone else I’ve ever met. Now I have lived alone for almost six months, and since graduating I’ve been left making a living in a way that doesn’t involve much human interaction (this blog), and a group of friends who work full time. What I’m probably saying is that my doing stuff alone, going for a walk, taking my laptop to a café, reading in the park, hasn’t been so much of an active choice as a necessity. I like staying in in my pyjamas from time to time, but not that much.
BUT, however it has come about, it really isn’t that bad. Passers by don’t really give you funny looks, baristas don’t pause with a knowing look of pity when you order your coffee ‘to stay’, and I’d even go as far as to say it is enjoyable. There’s something extremely liberating about doing stuff alone, that is (for me) very different from being home alone, or even being out doing ‘chores’ like the grocery shop. The first time I went to a gig by myself was an enlightening experience in this respect. Ariel Pink was playing in the Royal Northern College of Music concert hall (like a proper sit down concert) and most of my friends couldn’t care less. Having enjoyed pom pom (even in spite of the terrible person that Ariel Pink evidently is, but that’s a discussion for another day) I decided to go down alone; I bought a ticket at the door, and spent roughly two hours watching live music by myself. And that was that.
Since then I’ve been to a few more shows alone. I saw Nils Frahm perform at the Albert Hall (an especially immersive experience which I almost feel was improved by being alone, and has been by far one of my favourite ‘concerts’ of the year), and in my most adventurous move yet I even travelled to Leeds (an hour’s train from Manchester) to see Purity Ring. Watching bands alone seems to have the most social stigma attached to it, but it is really no big deal.
This isn’t revolutionary, and to some people comes more naturally than anything. I can also appreciate that those who suffer badly with social anxiety may face a very different set of obstacles when it comes to going out and doing things without a friend. However, if doing stuff alone is something you’ve considered but each time opted to stay home instead, I hope my directionless rambling (I just felt like writing ok) can persuade you to (figuratively) join me in doing stuff by yourself.
Words by Hannah Farrington
Photo by Toni Power
totally agree with alot of this i think its so important to do this sort of stuff on your on and have never stopped myself doing what ive wanted to do cus no one shares the same love of bands/musicals/going outsy stuff with me. have been to the theatre twice this month on my own, i saw katy perry at the 02 and staed in london by myself for two days and also did the clothes show on my own for three days last year in birmingham. the only thing i think i would rule out of doing on my own is a festival.. u kinda need mates to hang out with for that one it make it work! x http://sarahinwonderlust.blogspot.co.uk/2015/08/just-girl.html
Not necessarily! You can always to apply to volunteer at festivals. Tons of people do them on their own and meet loads of people! And you get a free festival ticket! X
love this. i've always been independent too but I hold myself back especially in uni because I don't have much in common with my housemates so I don't get to go to my favourite bars and stuff in Leeds.. I don't know whether going to a bar alone is something that I would be able to do but going to shows alone seems like it isn't too bad and I might start doing that this year. Great post 🙂
Once you realise that no-one else cares whether you are out by yourself or with others it is so much easier to just do the things that you want to!
Corinne x
Lady Ellumina | Personal Style, Beauty & Lifestyle Blog
I love this post! Sometimes doing things by yourself can make you happier than doing them with other people. I know that I definitely need to learn how to be alone 'better' and this post has given me some ideas on what I can do. Thankyou 🙂
Sarah x
http://www.scarletstate.co.uk
Love this post! People always think its super weird when I go to the cinema alone, but who cares! I love being independent.
Love
Ana| Ravishing Roses
I love this, it's all so true! People aren't really paying that much attention to whether you're alone or not. It makes going places much easier without having to co-ordinate plans!
http://heart-autumn.blogspot.co.uk/
Adore this post ! I suffer a lot from social anxiety and I find it way easier and more satisfying to do activities and go places on my own 🙂 Independency is brilliant !
Completely agree! I feel so independent and strong when I go places alone 🙂
What a great post! I've always been more of an independent person and doing things by myself is much more fun in my opinion anyway. Back in high school I was alone most lunchtimes and I was oddly okay with it, I just felt that I didn't need other people around me to feel comfortable. I've never been to a gig by myself so I think I'll definitely give that a go soon! Lovely post, it's had a really positive effect so thank you! Plus you have a really articulate way of expressing your thoughts, I love it!
Nabeela xo
http://nabsticle.blogspot.co.uk/
I live on my own, and I don't really know anyone in Manchester so when I want to do things I always end up putting things off until one of my friends is free.
Example: I really want to see Inside Out before it leaves the cinema but I haven't wanted to go on my own. A little because of my anxiety but mostly because I'd feel self-conscious, but you've now kinda inspired me to stop being so bloody worried about what other people think and to just go out there and do what I want to do, for me 🙂
LJLV
A Manchester Fashion & Lifestyle Blog
I love this post. I'm a firm believer in going off and going things myself, and it can be so lovely to just spend a few hours doing something you want to do, yourself. I stayed in the town where I went to uni after graduation for a job but most of my friends moved away so I've kind of gotten used to going and doing things myself because I'd never want to miss opportunities for fear of being alone. I still see my friends a lot but it's more planned and less spontaneous so if ever I fancy going out for a coffee and some cake, well, I'm going to pack up my book and go off myself 🙂 I really loved this post, sometimes it's nice to have a reminder that you aren't alone in enjoying spending time yourself!
Nicole xx
Life in Ginger
I love going to the movies alone however I'm still not courageous enough to go to a restaurant or gig alone – maybe soon!
I was thinking about posting something like this recently – I'm finding it more and more liberating to do things solo of late. It's definitely nerve-wracking at first, but I've actually found spending time enjoying my own company quite empowering.
Milly // Mini Adventures
I do this ALL the time too. in my first year of uni though my flatmates were like 'you went to that coffee place? but who with? … alone?!' and for the first time ever i was like wait, people don't do stuff like that alone? people are enamoured with the idea that something can't be enjoyable unless you are constantly sharing it with someone else but doing cool stuff alone makes you wholly focus on the thing or your own company. its deffo needed for the sake of my own sanity, anyway!
great post 🙂
I thought I was the only one who actually wanted to do things for myself! I love just doing my own thing. I don't like waiting for people to all agree on doing something that half the people don't want to do! I am all for getting a coffee for myself and taking a stroll. I'm a new reader, it is nice to see some originality on here.
This post is the reason that I love your blog. I enjoy seeing your outfit posts because sometimes I need inspiration. However, posts that actually say something are hard to find in many blogs. You've got the looks and the smarts, way to go 😉
Love this post! I am very introverted and always felt very enclosed in to myself. I am definitely willing to do things by myself if no one else wants to do it with me because I live to make my own happiness not to try and please others x
http://thriftyvintagefashion.blogspot.co.uk/
oh i love this so much! i find myself talking myself out of going to see films and just getting out of the house because lack of other humans to do it with a lot and it's got to the point where i am so incredibly sick of it. i shouldn't have to miss out on things because i can't count on others. i went to the park the other day by myself, i sat there for about an hour, until my phone died so i couldn't listen to my music anymore. it was odd at first but it started to feel really normal. during the time i had a dog owner smile at me and say hey (someone i'd never even met before) and three guys have a little laugh with me (i originally thought they were up to no good but they made me smile.) i know i will do it again and i now feel like i can do things by myself. next step is going to the movies alone and possibly going to a cafe for lunch!
I back you up all the way.
I've always been by myself, I have friends and I am very chatty! But I prefer my own company to be honest. It's just peaceful, nice and you can do your OWN thing without having to ask or upset. It's kinda of… nice I guess aha.
I back you up all the way.
I've always been by myself, I have friends and I am very chatty! But I prefer my own company to be honest. It's just peaceful, nice and you can do your OWN thing without having to ask or upset. It's kinda of… nice I guess aha.
I know exactly what you mean! I spent a whole year on my own because, like you, my first year flatmates were so unlike me I struggled to find even small things to chat about. I much preferred my own company to spending it with them. It was a necessity at first but then I actively started to enjoy it, glad I'm not alone here!
This post is wonderful. I found myself doing this last week, I want to go to this new cafe but my friends are busy. Thanks to this I may just go alone now 🙂
http://www.kindoflovely.com ♥
I loved reading this post! its something thats been on my mind for a while! I always have this problem when it comes to cinema/music gigs, but this has really encouraged me not to give af lol. I went to lfw last year by myself which was actually ok. I guess with everything it takes time to build up confidence, the more you do it the more it becomes 2nd nature! – x
Lavinya Royes – Fashion & Lifestyle Blog
One of my (super flaky) friends dropped out on me a few years ago when we had We Are Scientists tickets. So I sold hers and decided to go on my own, because I was dying to see them. I felt so awkward queuing up, and going inside, but as soon as I made my way into the crowd it didn't matter one bit that I was there by myself. No one can tell at a gig if you are there with people or not anyway! It was really fun being able to dance and jump about and sing along. It also meant I could stand where I wanted without having to worry about someone else not wanting to stand near the front. I was really surprised by how much fun I had, and keep meaning to go along to another gig by myself if no one else wants to come.
I think doing things by yourself is actually really healthy. I haven't been out for an evening meal by myself, but I have had lunch and coffees all the time. It is nice just to chill out by yourself. My favourite thing to do alone is go shopping, something I highly recommend!
This is very relevant to me. I have struggled with really bad social anxiety, but it's gotten much, much better this year. I've worked really hard to become more independent and to not let SA stop me from living the life that I want to live.
I'm now planning a trip to Copenhagen in October, and guess what.. I'm going ALONE!
I'm really looking forward to it 🙂
I went to the movies alone once (before my SA got out of hand), and I swore I would never do it again. That was over five years ago, I was 15 at the time. Now I know that I will definitely do it again in the future. I will focus on the experience rather than worrying about how weird people must think I am for being there alone 🙂
I love your style and your blog btw!
Haha love it. Sometimes there really is no better companion than one’s self. I will (figuratively) join you on that one, Hannah.