You don’t expect your mates to get cancer. You don’t expect them to be slut-dropping with you at a Ms Dynamite club night one month, and receiving a diagnosis the next. Not at this age. But, as they say, shit happens. My mate Lauren was diagnosed with breast cancer in August last year.

It is not for me to try to put into words how that feels, but Lolli has done a bloody good job of it in this piece, which you should absolutely read for laughs and cries.

There she is.

Cancer is absolutely shite. Of course it is. But it happens to even the very best of people, and what matters is what I, you, we can do about it now. Fortunately Lauren’s cancer was caught early and, as she says, she ain’t got the bad one.

She’ll be ok, but she is sick. When we talk about cancer we don’t talk about its financial implications, but going through chemo as a person of working age means a lot of time off, and statutory sick pay (I have now learned) is a pittance. Financial stress is one of the worst hardships at the best of times, let alone when you’re being poisoned every few weeks; Lauren has written about how exactly this feels.

In the interests of tackling the matter head on, or rather tit on, Lauren has designed a range of boob-themed t-shirts and rounded up this likely lot to do what we do best: piss about having our picture taken. Whether you prefer fun bags, lady lumps or knockers, picking up one of these will help Lauren stay in her home and stay fed, clothed, and generally be able to carry on living her life and focus on getting better. 25% of sales will go to the Breast Cancer Haven charity too.

Grab a t-shirt here, hashtag #GIRLvsCANCER, and CHECK YOUR BOOBS.

Photos by Moeez at Comb

Photos by Comb